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02-Sep-2017 20:11

CA Conrad came over to my apartment in Manhattan’s East Village one afternoon in April. CA: People come up to me after readings and ask, “Why are all the women like this? CA: I’m 13, I’m very restless, and I have to be at the mouth of the turnpike exit . But over the weeks I would go and watch this deer decompose, and that kind of sent my mind into this idea where death and impermanence really settled into me at that time.

I’d admired his poems for years, having met him on another afternoon in New York when he sought me out of enthusiasm for my work. It seemed a very traditional and direct method of establishing lineage. ” And I say, “Because that’s my mother.” I mean, my mother is not this sacred text that everybody likes to pull from for their mothers, or whatever. I mean, I lived in a car for half a year with her and it was not fun, you know? In terms of what you were writing, what you were reading? There were these rats burrowing under the pelt, and everything kind of sickened and grossed me out in a way.

He didn’t believe in any of the usual mentorship stuff, which was great.

CA: I mean, Gil Ott wasn’t a teacher so much as an anti-mentor.

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CA: What I find ironic is that for Jerome Rothenberg and Pierre Joris, of that whole group, Sexton’s the only one they chose to put in is very important to me, though: “Well of course they’re staring, we’re very interesting.” She said this to me when people were staring and whispering, probably saying, “There’s that whore Carla’s bastard son,” or whatever. Drugs were more of a block to my creative powers than anything. It really determines whether people will keep reading or not. You go one step further so that it becomes something else. .” Somehow the absurdity of the fear of the word or the power of the thing becomes something that males and females can both stand outside of, enjoyably even. CA: Well, can I tell you, one vagina poem that upsets people, women, the most is the one about Frank eating his wife’s bloody tampons. , his first full collection, and also his presence on Philly Sound, a blog he runs with his friends that is full of new poems, Conrad’s enthusiasms for other poets, political messages and analysis, and poetry exercises. I would sell flowers for her on the side of the highway because she had a police record and couldn't find work, and it was a full-time job. CA: I could trace it back to when I was selling those stupid flowers—all I did was read. And it sort of got conflated with my home environment, which was very bad. His “(Soma)tic” poetics have a quickening effect on poets at all moments in their “careers.”I’ve grown to love CA Conrad—the man, the work, and all he attempts and represents—because he always argues (from the inside of his poems) for a poetry of radical inclusivity while keeping a very queer shoulder to the wheel. Well, some people have problems with the characters in the beginning. Child labor laws meant nothing to her, and I really had to rebel once I got older. I was already sort of a big basket case because of what was going on with my mother’s new husband and my sister. His kind of queerness strikes me as nonpolarizing, not intentionally but because of the fullness of his exposition, a kind of gigantism that seems to me to be most deeply informed by love, and a tenderness for the ravages and tumult of existence. I just wanted to have my life, but once straight people found out I was gay, I became the fag, you know what I mean? CA: But I’m at this age where I’m like—that was great. It got me the hell out of there, and now I don't have to stay here and work in the coffin factory with everyone else in this shit-hole town. EM: I suppose the puzzle worth talking about might be how you got from there to here. You’re somebody for whom doors, I think, are opening now [pats book].

I made a plan to talk with him on the occasion ofcoming into print, and I’m glad I’ve procrastinated finishing this piece so that it didn’t come out in June, where queers belong. EM: Yeah, well, queer people need to transport themselves to survive, and like anything getting transported, it eventually gets caught, seen. CA: Well, strange as it may sound, the thing I’m most grateful for is being queer.

My mother smacked me when I tried to tell her what was going on. Allowing it to happen and being confused, acting confused, you know? I told him what we were going through, and he just left us in this situation.

Constand could face a bruising cross-examination from Cosby's lawyers, who have argued that the two had a romantic relationship, that she wasn't incapacitated and that the sexual encounter was consensual.… continue reading »

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